As you launch into marital bliss, it is wise to know that statistics say you have a 50% chance of a successful marriage. That means you will have to commit to work at putting your mate above yourself. Many marriage conflicts can be narrowed down to selfishness. It is imperative to realize that a successful marriage relationship is built on giving and taking by both parties.

Appreciate Each Other’s Differences

Appreciating each other’s differences will build a strong bond. You have come into this relationship to complete each other. Demanding things be done your way only exposes selfishness.

Baggage

Discard Excess Excess baggage from your past brought into a marriage will have an impact on your present relationships. Harboring resentment toward others because of abuse, neglect, divorce, working mom, overextended dad, controlling personalities, etc. from your past can destroy a marriage. Forgiveness toward those who may have offended you is a must. Otherwise, you run the risk of duplicating your past. You owe it to your mate to “deal with it” now.

Communicate with Your Mate

Communication requires good listening skills as well as speaking in terms that the other can understand, not just what makes sense to you. (Selfish attitude.) Men tend to be more factually minded with objectivity and women express more by feelings and subjectivity. Consider your mate and learn his or her language. It will take effort but it will demonstrate that you value the relationship and are trying.

Deny Yourself

Deny yourself and cater to your mate! That is the ultimate of unselfishness.

Earn Your Mate’s Respect

Earn respect by being trustworthy and above reproach.

Finances - Budget and Save

A financial crisis occurs in many cases when you want something and get it without considering where the money will come from to pay for it. Instant gratification is a form of selfishness. Consider writing out a budget for each month to show where the money must go first. We also suggest that you begin saving for things that you really want rather than resorting to the dreaded “plastic card”. Many couples find themselves still paying for an item that has long since gone by the wayside.